Happy 8th anniversary....

January 25th marked the 8th anniversry of my Dad going to heaven. That day has been a difficult day for me for 8 years now. No matter how many years go by, I always get "blue", anxious and even more difficult to live with around that date every year. And it just sneaks up on me. You wouldn't think, after this many years, that it would. It just shows that time can ease the pain, but the longing for someone you love never truly goes away. I was fortunate to have 67 years with my Dad, but in my opinion, that was not enough years. I wish he would have been here to meet Mark and to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I wish he were here at Christmas time so we could watch "A Christmas Story" together, over and over again, like we used to do. I wish I could get up on Sunday morning and hear him laughing as he was watching The Three Stooges. I wish he were here to know his Granddaughter, Hope. Man would he love that girl!!! Death is a tough thing to deal with. Suicide is even more difficult. Some of you know, others don't, that my Dad took his own life. I guess the "silver lining" in this case is that he had been so ill for so long (almost 20 years) that none of us can really blame him for making the decision he made. I know it must have been an agonizing decision for him because he loved life and he loved his family. I also have the feeling he talked about this many, many times with his Savior. Mom said that the last weeks, months before he died he would study his Bible in the morning and at night. I think he was looking for an answer. I truly believe that he came to peace with God about his decision. So for 8 years now Dad has been healthy and whole and for that I'm so thankful. Whenever I hear the song "I Can Only Imagine," I think of Dad and what his reaction was when he met Jesus 8 years ago. I always cry when I hear that song, too.

So, happy 8th anniversary in heaven, Dad. I love you. I miss you. I think of you every day. Please take good care of the baby that I lost before I had Hope. Give him/her a big hug from his/her Mommy and tell him/her that I love him/her very much.

PS...If there happens to be anyone out there that reads this and is thinking about committing suicide...PLEASE GET HELP!! It doesn't just involve you. It's not just your decision. It involves all those who love you. You might be ending your pain, but you're giving pain that will last a lifetime to those around you. There is help.

They grow so quickly...

Last weekend at a scrapbooking retreat, I was able to get a bit more done in Hope's "First Year of Life" scrapbook (I know...I'm WAY behind). I realized that there were some pictures that I wanted to put in the scrapbook, but I didn't have them with me. I looked briefly at home and they weren't where I thought they might be. Hhhmmmm. So I looked on the computer to make sure I still had those pictures and I do, so I'll just re-print (thank God for digital photography and computers). As I was looking at pictures, I came across this precious video of Mark giving Hope her first bath in the hospital. She was just one day old. I watched it (many times...as was Hope's request) with tears streaming down my cheeks. Where did my little baby girl go?? I hope you enjoy this video as much as I do.

Introducing Wyatt Matthew

Here's the picture I promised of me holding Wyatt. He is just SOOOOO cute!!! I can't wait to see him again. Did I mention that he was born in the very same room that Hope was born in?? How cool is that?? The really weird thing is that when I went to see Andrea, Bert and Wyatt at the hospital on Friday night, the nurse at the nurses' station said to me, "Isn't that the room you were in when you had your daughter?? Her name is Faith...or Hope, isn't it?" I had no idea who this woman was, but she remembered me from 2.5 years ago when I had Hope. That's pretty cool (and maybe a little scary). And don't mind my bad hair day. I am in desperate need of a haircut! Just focus on that cute little boy in my arms.

One more emotion

I know I said I was done until the next piece of Packer news comes up, but I have to share one more thing. This blog is my therapy. Now I'm just feeling numb. Still in shock that we lost. I'm sitting here listening to Packers post game via the internet right now (WTMJ out of Milwaukee). It's like a funeral durge. The guys (the players) are numb. They have no idea what to do now because they fully anticipated they'd have two more weeks left of the season. So did I. So tomorrow I'll wear black and then life will go on.

Saddened, angry and sick to my stomach!

I can't believe we lost. I mean, I know that on any given Sunday any team in the NFL can lose, but I truly didn't expect it to be the Green Bay Packers today in a cold Lambeau Field against the New York Giants. Oh my gosh!!! My initial reaction: tears. I know. It sounds stupid. I just love my Packers so much and feel so sad for them. My next reaction: anger. They actually deserved to lose today. They looked like crap. The Giants aren't that good of a team. If my memory serves me right, they were a WILD CARD TEAM!!! I'm angry that the Packers got so many penalties for doing stupid things. I'm angry that they didn't take advantage of quite a few big plays and situations. My reaction right now: I'm sick to my stomach. Literally. I feel like I could lose my cookies right now. You can't get this close to the Superbowl and blow it like the Packers did today. UGH!!!!! Now my post football season funk will begin. I go through this every year when the Packers are done. This year it just hurts a lot more. To be so close to the big game and not make it just stings. We will be a divided house for the Superbowl. Mark is hoping the Patriots win (payback to the Giants for beating the Packers today). I'm hoping the Giants win because I dislike the Patriots as much as I dislike the Vikings and the Cowboys. I think it would be funnier than heck if their perfect season was blemished at the Superbowl by a wild card team with ELI MANNING as the quarterback (he stinks). Don't get me wrong, I think Eli is probably a really nice kid and I like his brother a lot, but he's no Brett Favre for sure. Heck, Tom "Pretty Boy" Brady is no Brett Favre either.

There are a couple of plusses about the Packers losing today. 1) The time I spent watching football can now be replaced by cleaning my house and continuing to work on Hope's scrapbook. 2) I think this makes it more likely that Brett will be back next year.

Enough about football. I had a great weekend at a scrapbooking retreat this weekend. I stayed up WAY too late both Friday and Saturday nights and then got up WAY too early in the morning. As a result, I'm exhausted. I got some good things done in Hope's book though, so it was worth the lack of sleep. Plus, I got to meet some really cool women and also spend some great time with my friend Lisa K.

Another really exciting thing happened on Thursday. My friends Andrea and Bert had their baby. Wyatt Matthew Stone was born at 7:53pm on January 17. He weighed 6 lbs, 9 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He is absolutely beautiful!! I got to see him on Friday night and Bert took a great picture of Wyatt and me. I'll post it if I get permission from Andrea.

OK...time to go pout. For those of you who see me during the week, just bear with me and let me work my way through this. It's like I'm in mourning. Again, I realize it's silly because it's just a game, but it's my team. So until the next time there's some exciting Packers news to report...See ya!!

Totally Cool

I just had to put this picture up. I'm so thankful that Mark subscribes to SI!!!

Football Fans

This is a great joke sent to me by a friend. Enjoy!!

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Bears' Fan, a Packers' Fan, a Vikings' Fan, and a Lions' Fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most'die-hard' fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Bears' Fan proclaimed to the other three......'This is for the Chicago Bears!' and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Bears Fan, the Lions' Fan jumped up and said....'This is for the Detroit Lions!' and then threw himself off the mountain. Again as a form of sacrifice. Refusing to be outdone by the Bear and Lions' fans, the Packers' Fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, 'This is for the Green Bay Packers!' and without any hesitation, pushed the Viking Fan off the Mountain.

I love that one!!!

Correction...

So I was wrong. The Superbowl is actually in Arizona this year. I knew that. I'm not sure why my brain was thinking it was in New Orleans. The ELCA youth gathering is in New Orleans next summer, and I've had that on my brain lately, so maybe that's where I got that from. So Arizona isn't New Orleans and that means it's not home field advantage for Brett, but it's still nice and warm and sunny, so I'll take it!!! I still think that some year the NFL should be brave and have the Superbowl at Lambeau!! Could you imagine???

One more thing I forgot to mention in my last post. Mark and I were engaged 6 years ago yesterday at Lambeau during the play off game vs. the 49ers. Trust me when I tell you that the weather was much different on January 13, 2002 than it was on Jan. 12, 2008. It was actually (relatively) warm on the day we got engaged. One thing was the same though: we won!!

Thanks for forgiving my mistake (about where the Superbowl is...not my mistake of saying yes to Mark . hehehe That wasn't a mistake).

New Orleans here we come??!!???

It's getting so close that I can TASTE it!!! What an awesome weekend for football. Sure, the Pack gave me a little bit of a scare when they went down 14-0 to the Seahawks early in the game on Saturday, but I knew my team wouldn't let me down. Mark was freakin' out, of course. I, however, remained calm. I told him not to worry...that the Packers were NOT going to let the Seahawks do that to them AT home in such an important game. Then the snow started flying. Final score: Packers 42, Seahawks 20. WOOHOO!!! My gut is not trust worthy when it comes to predicting the sex of friends' unborn babies. Heck, my gut was wrong when it came to my own pregnancy. (I was so sure from 11 weeks on that we were having a boy that I never pictured myself holding a girl. Man was I wrong!!!). Anyway...my gut is usually pretty good about predicting the outcome of football games. Not always, but I'd say I get more right than wrong. And I can usually tell the difference between "wishing" for an outcome and "feeling" what the outcome of a game will be. So I knew in my gut that the Packers were going to win that game...but I didn't know it would be by so much!! I "wished" that the Patriots would lose, but I knew they wouldn't. I was right. I totally got the Colts outcome wrong and I have a sick feeling in my stomach for Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy. I like those two men. But I TOTALLY called the Cowboys game last night. YEAH!!! I knew in my gut (although part of it really was wishful thinking) that they were going to lose. Part of me kind of wanted them to win so the Packers could go down there next week and beat the crud out of them (my gut tells me we would have won that one...after all, we owe them). But since the Cowboys lost last night, the Giants will be coming to Lambeau where the predicted temperature at the start of the game is about 11 degrees. It'll be colder with the wind chill. By the end of the game they're saying it'll dip down to 0. WooHoo!!! Could the Packers lose on Sunday against the Giants?? Sure. Any team can lose on any given day. But odds truly are with the Packers. Since we played the Seahawks on Saturday and the Giants played the Cowboys on Sunday, we get a whole extra day to rest up. Plus, the Giants have a travel day in there and we get to stay home. It's gonna be cold!!! I know the Giants play in the north, too, but it's not the same as playing in Lambeau cold. And I like Eli Manning, don't get me wrong, but I also know he's been VERY inconsistant this year. Sure the Giants' last games have been greatly managed by him, but he's due for a bad game.

Now, let's allow ourselves to dream a little. This is what I told Mark this morning: let's say the Packers win on Sunday and go to the Superbowl. Where was the Superbowl the last time the Packers won?? It was in New Orleans. Where is the big game this year?? New Orleans. Technically it's not home field advantage for either team, but Brett grew up and still lives an hour or so from New Orleans. It's his home. It's kinda home field advantage for him. The next question I asked Mark this morning was, "And who did we beat in that Superbowl?" Yep. New England!!! It's our time. Sure the Patriots are undefeated so far this year, but they can't win EVERY game, can they?? No!! Plus, you know the G on the Green Bay helmets??? It doesn't only stand for Green Bay, it stands for God. hehehe Not that the Packers are God, it just means they're God's team. hehehe Back to the Patriots and they're record for this year: Odds really are that they have to lose one game. That means they either lose the game this coming weekend against the Chargers (that would be SOOOOOOOO cool) or they lose in the Superbowl. Either way works for me because I just feel that the Patriots have to get knocked down a peg or two. First of all, they cheated at the beginning of the year by deceitfully getting the opposing team's plays. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Plus, that Tom Brady is just too much of a pretty boy for me (although he really IS pretty).

So those are my thoughts this morning. I am so excited for the Packers. Even if something freakish happens on Sunday and they end up losing, they've had a heck of a season. Consider that the "experts" thought the Packers would go 6-10 this year....maybe 8-8 at best. Those were actually logical predictions because we have the youngest team in the NFL. But look what can happen when you believe. Look what can happen when you have a leader like Brett Favre and a coach like Mike McCarthy. By the way, Mark and I both think that Holmgren Way (one of the roads just outside of Lambeau) should be changed to McCarthy Ave or something like that. Sure they should keep Holmgren Way. After all, he did a lot for the Packers organization. But I think because he ditched the Packers for more power and more money elsewhere, they should just put Holmgren Way in a different part of town.

I'm sure this isn't the only time I'll blog this week about the Packers. I'm just so excited for them. The sad thing is that if the Packers DO go to the Superbowl and if they should win, will Brett call it quits?? I hate to think of never seeing him play football again. He's so much fun to watch. I'm reading Deanna Favre's book right now and it's incredible. I recommend it to EVERYONE!!! She is such a strong Christian woman. They have been through so much. That's part of the reason I feel like it's our time. We shall see. Until the next post...GO PACK GO!!! I'm going to have butterflies in my stomach until next Sunday night after the game. I love that feeling and hate it all at the same time.

He's baaaaack!!!

No, not Mark. Not yet. But someone else from the Eastern part of the great state of Wisconsin will be back. According to an article in the Sun Herald (newspaper of the Mississippi Gulf Coast), it looks like Brett Favre will be returning to Green Bay next year for his 18th season in the NFL. OH YEAH!!! If this little announcement doesn't fire the team (and the fans) up for Saturday's play off game against Seattle, I don't know what will.

Mark told me the news this evening, but I told him that I'd believe it when I actually heard the words come out of Brett's mouth myself. So I check email just now and Mark's parents sent us a link to an article from a local paper stating that it looks like Brett will be back. Then I checked out the Sun Herald article myself. Is it 100% sure?? No, but it sure is a really good chance. I'm thinking the only thing that will keep him away is if another tragedy happens in his family.

Seriously...look at the team. Nobody expected us to do ANYTHING this year because we were the youngest team in the NFL. We have fooled everyone and we've got nowhere to go but up. With Brett's decision coming much earlier than it has the past few seasons, it gives the Green Bay management some time to make decisions about new players. Oh, this is going to be great!! Plus, it's Brett's 18th season. 18 is the Brue lucky number. Our wedding anniversary is May 18. Mark's b-day is on August 18. My b-day is September 18. Hope had to be her own person and come on July 19!!! That girl. Independent...just like her Mommy. Anyway, I'm already pumped about next season.

Now, the danger in all of this is that the news could have a not so good effect on the team for Saturday. Hopefully Brett and Coach McCarthy will be able to keep the boys focused on THIS game because next year makes no difference in this year's play off games. So far they've been able to keep their heads together. Let's hope it continues because although this news about Brett makes me excited about next season, I'm not any where NEAR ready for THIS season to be done. It can be done on February 3rd...after we beat the stinkin' Patriots in the Super Bowl!! WooHoo!!!

Interesting news...

OK. So Mark has been at his new job with Thrivent, working at the home office in Appleton, for about 2 weeks now. He loves it so far. I can't see that that will change. That's a good thing. One of his bosses called him into his office today to just check and see how things were going. In the course of conversation Mark asked a question about when they think they'd be transferring him to the Minneapolis home office. The guy he was talking to said that Tracy (one of Mark's bosses) didn't have her facts straight when she told Mark that he'd be able to work out of the Minneapolis office. Mark's heart just sunk. Oh no!!! A move to Appleton!! YIKES!!! He told Mark that he won't be working out of the Minneapolis office after all...he'll be working out of our HOME!!! That's a good thing, bad thing. It's a good thing because Mark won't have to worry about commuting to the Cities (winter driving, gas prices, crazy drivers, etc). It's a not necessarily good thing because sometimes Mark has a hard time focusing. So we talked about this tonight and he reminded me that when he was working out of the home for another Thrivent rep he did a really great job of focusing on work. It was when Mark was trying to make a go of it as a rep himself that he'd find a million things to do around the house before he'd get down to work. That's because he didn't like what he was doing. He LOVES what he's doing now, so I really do think this will work out. They're still not saying when this transition will take place, but we're still hoping he'll be home for good in February or March. Now we just need to decide if we're going to add on to our current house or buy a new house so that we have more room. His office is currently in our loft which works out OK...but the loft has been doubling as our guest room since the guest room became a nursery. And let's not forget to mention how small my kitchen is. My new Kitchen Aid stand mixer Mark got me for Christmas takes up every inch of counter space. Well, maybe not every inch, but it's close. I guess there are worse things to worry about, right?

Now for a prayer request: please keep the family of Gary Kaiser in your prayers. Gary (a member of Gethsemane) died tonight. Especially keep Kayla (Gary's daughter) in your prayers. Her mother died quite a few years ago. Kayla is only a Sophomore in college. I can't imagine having lost both parents by the time I was 20.

Now it's time to throw a load of laundry in the dryer and head to bed. I'm 3 hours earlier than I have been in a few nights. YEAH!!!

2008 is here and it's been an almost perfect beginning

Happy New Year everyone! A friend wrote in her blog that she likes even numbers and that since this is 2008, she's hoping it'll be a good year. I agree. I never thought about odd vs even numbers much until I married Mark. He LOVES even numbers. He'll chance a phone number (I think he even requested a new license plate) if it's not even. So here's to hoping 2008 is better than 2007. Not that 2007 was a total disaster, but we had some hard times last year. It began on New Year's Eve (OK...technically 2006, but close enough) with our niece Bethany (who is now 10) making an emergency trip to Children's Hospital because she slammed up against a tree at the end of the family zip line. Two skull fractures and some scratches later, this incredible girl is so blessed to be alive!! A week after that, Mark's cousin Trent died in a house fire. Tragic! Mark continued to struggle with job stuff, too.

We did see joys in 2007 though: the return of Brett Favre to the Green Bay Packers (OK...you KNEW I had to start with that one), the high school graduation of my nephew, Andrew (and subsequent entry into the Air Force), the birth of Isaiah Spies, the adoption of Hope H by our friend Beth and Ron, and the list goes on and on. Oh...and we can't forget the incredible celebration my family and friends threw me for my 40th birthday in September. So it wasn't all bad.

2008 looks to bring: job stability for Mark. He's now employed once again with Thrivent at the home office. The bummer part is that for right now he's working at the office in Appleton. That shouldn't be for long though. They're saying by March (if not earlier) he'll be at the home office in Minneapolis...which is where he was for 17 years when he got let go in the Lutheran Brotherhood merger with AAL. So this is like going home for him. Already in his few days that he's been at this new position he seems happier. 2008 will also bring the birth of my friend's (Andrea and Bert) first child. Could be any day now. As of Dec. 31, 2007, I'm also starting my scrapbooking business. We have the domain name, so now it's time to get the website up and running. Once the website is up, I'll post a link on this blog. 2008 will also bring Hope to the start of her school career as she begins pre-school in the fall. Where has the time gone?? I hope she's both potty trained and able to be without Mommy for 2.5 hours by then. 2008 could also very possibly bring a trip to Germany for me with my siblings and their spouses. Andrew is being stationed at Ramstein (am I spelling that correctly??) Air Base at the end of March so we're all planning on going over to see him. Hopefully during Oktoberfest (which, by the way, would be around my birthday. I celebrated my 30th birthday in Germany/Austria, so why not my 41st??)

Now, I can't end this post without a little bit of football talk. The football games the past few days have gone almost exactly how I would have chosen them to turn out. I would have loved to seen the Patriots get beat, but they didn't. Oh well. I also would have loved to have seen the Badgers win the Outback Bowl today, but they didn't (thanks mostly in part to some REALLY lousy reffing). But things that went well: the Packers beat up the Lions, the Vikings are out of the play offs and the Cowboys got beat by the Redskins (which helped secure the Vikings' curtain call for this season). Now we wait to see who the Packers will have in the first round of the play offs. There are lots of scenarios for how I'd like to see the post season unfold for the Packers (of course that would culminate in a trip to the Super Bowl where we'd beat the crap out of the Patriots...hey, a girl has to dream), but that's for another post. I'm too tired.

Time for bed. I wish for all of you a safe, healthy and blessed 2008.
PS...Excuse bad grammar and spelling in this post...it's been a long weekend and I'm not editing tonight.