It's been a long time

Wow!! It's been a while since I posted. I actually had what I thought was a brilliant post about a week ago, but it disappeared somewhere. I was too tired to think about it again, so I just opted not to post.

So much happening. This afternoon I'm going to do one of the hardest things I'll probably ever have to do. A friend that I met through the Family Resource Center in Baldwin buries her 4 month old son today. I can't even imagine the pain that Jennifer and her family are going through. Zachariah Smith died on Tuesday, March 27, of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I'm going to the funeral to be there for Jen. I've never been to a funeral for a baby before. It just doesn't seem fair, Lord! I know life isn't always fair. Please be with that family now. Help them feel you in a very real way as they grieve.

SIDS. I HATE THOSE LETTERS. Do you know that it wasn't until Hope was well over 1 year old that I finally started sleeping better at night?? I was so afraid of SIDS. Just before she was born I went out and bought one of those monitors that you place underneat the baby's crib mattress. If the monitor doesn't detect any movement in the crib for like 20 seconds, an alarm goes off. Not only does the alarm wake the baby, but it alerts the parents that something might be wrong. We never used the alarm. I did a lot of soul searching and finally came to the conclusion that Hope's life is in God's hands and there's really nothing I can do about SIDS. And now Hope is 20 months old. She's made it so far. We thank God for that several times a day. And yet several times a night I find myself still checking on her. It used to be every hour on the hour (or more). Now I've let myself relax enough to only check on her two or three times. I talked to the parent of a 12 year old the other day about this. She says she still checks on her daughter once a night. There really is no more sleeping through the night once you become a parent. Because then they grow up to be teenagers and they're out late with their friends...and you wait up and worry.

The weather matches my mood right now. It's rainy and overcast...and yet the sun is trying with all its might to poke through the clouds. That's a great analogy to life, isn't it?? Sometimes life sucks! Sometimes the rain clouds come in to stay for a while. Yet God tries with all His might to make himself known. Sometimes we let Him...sometimes we don't.

I just finished teaching the 3rd of 3 sessions of a 1st Communion Class to 3rd graders. 3 girls, 2 boys. What a great goup of kids. I just love them and so look forward to getting to know them as they grow spiritually. It's days like this that remind me of why I do what I do. It's not the "busy" part of ministry that makes me tick. It's the quiet times I have with kids where I can teach them what I know...and where I can learn from them all the things I don't yet know. I want to make faith real to them. I don't want to make it all about activities and Easter Breakfasts and youth gatherings, etc, etc, etc. I want to make it life. I want to make it every day. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, but I'll keep trying.

On a really exciting note: our friends Ron and Beth (who we're looking forward to spending time with tomorrow) are hearing rumors that referrals have landed in the US. What does that mean?? I don't know all the details, but what I do know is that if referrals have really landed in the US, that means sometime this week they'll be seeing the pictures of their daughter for the very first time. I'm so excited for them. This adoption journey has been so long for them. They're adopting a baby (most likely a little girl) from China and have had to be so, so patient. They have to have butterflies in their tummies now, thinking about how this could be the week that totally changes their lives. I think how it works is that once they get the referral, they'll know when they get to travel to China to hold their baby in their arms. How I wish I could be a fly on the wall the first time they meet their precious child for the first time. It's probably a good thing I won't be a fly on the wall because flies don't cry, do they?? I'd explode with tears of Joy. Hey Beth and Ron...I just want to let you know that Melody is a really nice name for a little girl. hehehe Anyway, like I said earlier, we get to spend time with Ron and Beth tomorrow and we're looking forward to that. They are going to take our geocaching virginity away from us. hehehe Geocaching is a high tech treasure hunt. That should be interesting since I just got my very own cell phone yesterday. Talk about technologically slow!! Mark and I have been sharing a phone until now. And my phone even has a camara. How cool is that?? hehehe Now I realize that most 12 year old have had cell phones with cameras for years now, but I'm still excited.

OK...I'm rambling. Time to get a few more things done in the office and then change clothes and head to the funeral. Please keep my friends Jen and her hubby Wayne in your prayers as they mourn the loss of baby Zachariah. And please keep Beth and Ron in your prayers as they (hopefully) "meet" their baby this week via a picture. I think we've come full circle.

Love,
Melody

Only in Wisconsin...the land flowing with cheese and beer!

I know it's time to go home, but something really funny just happened and I have to share it with you before I forget. So it's 4:30pm and I'm wrapping things up for the day so I can go pick Hope up from Grammy and Papa's and we can go home and see if Mark is feeling any better. The phone rings. Here is my conversation with the guy on the other end:

Melody: Good afternoon, Gethsemane Lutheran Church. This is Melody. May I help you?

Guy: Hi Melody! Is Pat Nygaard there?

Melody: I don't believe she is.

Guy: Isn't there a blood drive at church today?

Melody: Yes there is, but I believe Pat Nygaard is still in the hospital.

Guy: Oh yeh, that's right.

Melody: Is there someone else you'd like to talk to?

Guy: Well, I forgot about the blood drive until a few minutes ago. I'd like to give blood...

--(at this point I'm thinking he's going to ask if there are any appointments left open so he can come in and give blood yet today)

Guy continues: but I just had a couple of beers so I was wondering if I could still come in and give blood.

Melody: Well, let me put you on hold and see what I can find out for you.

At this point I put the guy on hold and I just laugh. I truly believe that only in Wisconsin would someone have already had 2 (or more, perhaps?) beers by 4:30 in the afternoon and STILL be considerate enough to want to give blood!! This is hilarious!!! I don't know who the guy was, but thank you for making me laugh and making my day!

By the way, in case you're wondering, here's what the nurse said: if he's been a good historian (meaning, if he's been a good blood donor previously), tell him to drink some water on the way over and he should be fine. The smell of alcohol on his breath won't deter us from taking his blood. hehehehe So funny! What a great end to a day.

If you think this is as funny as I do (I'm still laughing so hard that I think I'm going to pee my pants), leave a comment and let me know.

Time to go home. I think I'm going to have a glass of wine (I hate beer).

Cheers,

Melody!

God comes through...again

My father-in-law saw the heart specialist in St. Paul yesterday and everything looks OK. The results of the echocardiogram that he had done a few weeks ago showed that there really hasn't been any change. That's great news! They gave him the option of going with either a pacemaker, a defibrilator or a combo of the two. This is an option to him, so he's decided to go ahead and get the combo put in. Looks like that surgery will take place on May 10, so any prayers you can offer up for safety, recovery, etc, would be really welcome. I think he's feeling a lot better just knowing that things look OK. It has to be really stressful when you think something is wrong with your heart. Now hopefully once the combo is put in it'll help him feel even better. The specialist has reduced one of his medications slightly so we're hoping that'll take away the feeling of dizzyness that he's had recently. Anyway...on my way to work this morning I was thinking about how God has come through for us again. Then that got me to thinking about how I feel that God comes through for me ONLY when He answers prayers the way I want Him to answer. Is that selfish or what?? I'm usually pretty good about knowing that God has three ways of answering prayers: yes, no, wait. I really do have a pretty good grasp about that concept. But I didn't have too good of a grasp on that when Mark had the job thing happen again in February. I lost it then. Looking back on it I'm feeling a bit guilty about not being more faithful, trusting, etc, but I also realize that I have a God who understands, forgives and loves no matter what I do.

So, God, thanks for answering these prayers about my father-in-law in the way I wanted you to answer them. I realize that sometime there will be an answer that I don't want or don't understand. Help me remain faithful and trusting when that happens.

Speaking of prayer...please pray for Evelyn and Richard Peterson. They are friends from church. Their 20 year old granddaughter died this week in a freaky kind of allergic reaction to either an antibiotic or Benedryl. It's a long story and I won't give you details, just keep that whole family in your prayers. What a tough time for them.

Happy last day of Winter...YEAH!!! Here's a poem to celebrate the end of another long winter in the frozen tundra:

Good-bye and Hello
by Barbara Anthony

Good-bye, ice skates.
Good-bye, sled.
Good-bye, winter;
Spring's ahead.

Good-bye, leggings.
Good-bye, snow.
Good-bye, winter. Spring, hello!

Hello, crocus.
Hello, kite.
Good-bye, winter
Spring's in sight!

Hello, jumprope.
Hello, swing.
Good-bye winter!
Hello, spring!

Here's another great one!! I hate winter so much...except it's so much fun to watch Hope have fun in the snow.

Say Goodbye to Winter
The Victorian Poetry Club

Say Goodbye to Winter
That’s all I want to do.
To never feel its bitter cold
Chilling my bones through and through.
Say Goodbye to Winter
Go ahead, uncover your ears.
Away, north wind blow
Take with you all of our fears.
Say Goodbye to Winter
Farewell to ice and snow.
The flowers of Spring will soon be coming,
Please tell me you do now know.
Say Goodbye to Winter
Hello to Mr. Spring.
We look forward to his coming
And the many colors that with him he will bring.

Love,
Melody

Here's to a Dream!

OK. Just one more post for today. I just got a really exciting phone call. Let's back up a few weeks before I tell you about the phone call. On February 14th, my friend Steve Emerson (age 53) died from a brain tumor. I know Steve, his wife Ruth and their boys Eric and Lucas from my days at Ezekiel. What an awesome family!! Well, I wanted to do something to help, but I had no idea what I could do. It came to me one day that at I could donate something for the silent auction they were having at the Memorial Benefit for Steve. So I donated doing a custom scrapbook for whoever the highest bidder was. The person running the event thought that would be a great idea. Mark and I went to the benefit and I saw that nobody had bid on my scrapbook. Of course my ego (and my feelings) were a bit crushed. I haven't heard from anyone since the benefit (that was the end of February), so I just assumed that nobody had purchased my scrapbooking idea. Fast forward to today: the person who won the scrapbook called me! YEAH!! This person's daughter is graduating from high school this spring so we're meeting on Thursday to look at pictures and get some things organized. We'll talk about the style of scrapbook she'd like for her daughter and then I can get started. I'm so excited about this. I haven't shared this with many people, but I'd love to be a full-time "scrapbooking for others" person. I love scrapbooking, but just don't have time to do it like I'd like to since I'm working 30+ hours a week...oh and I'm the parent of a toddler. But someday I hope to do this full time. Don't you think it's a great idea?? I mean, there are so many people out there who want their photographs in albums that are fun to look at and will preserve the photos for a lifetime, but they just don't have the time or energy or creativity to do it. So that's my dream and I'm sticking to it. Maybe this will get that dream kickstarted. Another great benefit to having a career like this is that I'd be able to take Hope to school and pick her up and be with her when she gets home from school. I'd also get to volunteer for her school and go on field trips with her class. How fun would that be?? My current job is pretty flexible and I love that, so I might be able to do some of that anyway, but the scrapbooking thing is just something I've been thinking about for a few years now and would love to get it up and running. Here's to a dream...

God comes through!

So in my my first post I talked about how I thought God had turned his back on us. The rollercoaster of job stuff for Mark has been so stressful. The really good news is that on Friday he passed his series 63 exam. YEAH!! The even better news is that last night he signed his contract to go back to work with Thrivent Financial. He'll be like a consultant to the Thrivent Reps in Western Wisconsin. He'll love that. It's a completely new position...one that was pretty much created just for Mark. In order for it to be permanent, he'll have to prove himself. I have no doubt that he will. That's the kind of work he was doing when he worked for the Lutheran Brotherhood home office in Minneapolis, so I know he'll love this, too. The other part of the job will be a little "sales." So...if you need health insurance, life insurance or need to talk to someone about investments, Mark's your guy. He' so smart when it comes to investing and those of you who know him know he's totally trustworthy. Anyway...God came through...again. Thanks God!

Now that we're on our way to being financially OK again, the talk about residing the house has begun again. Our cedar siding is so "icky." The plan is to do our home in half logs so we'll have our cabin on the Kinni. For those of you who haven't been to our house, we have a home with almost an acre of land on the Kinnickinnic River. That's a class 1 trout stream in Wisconsin and it's beautiful! We'll also have the driveway resurfaced and hopefully put on a new deck so we can enjoy suppers on the deck with our beautiful view. I'll post some pictures of the house as it is now...and then some after pictures once the project is done. Too bad we can't add on to the kitchen side of the house. The kitchen is SOOOOOOOO small. There's no way I'll ever have room for a Kitchen Aide mixer with the current size of the kitchen. Oh well. There are worse things in life.

So yesterday we were invited to go "fondue-ing" with some friends from church. We had such a blast!! I think I convinced Mark that fondue is fun and tasty. Hopefully we can do it again. We had the appetizer fondue (cheese...with bread cubes and broccoli). For a main course we had shrimp, chicken, pork and steak. There was a beer batter that we could dip the stuff in before cooking it in the oil. Oh...and don't forget the cheese curds. YUMMY!! And of course we ended our time together with fresh fruit and chocolate fondue. It was such a great time. In a couple of weeks we'll be going geo-caching with our friends Ron and Beth. That's going to be lots of fun, too! It'll be our first time, so we'll let you know of our adventures. We're even going to take Hope. I'm sure she'll love hiking around in the woods looking for little treasures.

Well, I better close this entry. You're probably bored to death. I'll close by adding a couple of pictures from our fondue party. I'll add more later.

Love,

Melody

Here is a picture of Mark and me taken at our fondue party. Mark liked the shrimp best.

And here's a picture of my friend Beth and me at the fondue party. Beth and her hubby Ron are the ones who are taking us geo-caching in a couple of weeks. We can't wait to spend more time with them. We're REALLY excited for them because in a couple of weeks they should be seeing pictures of the little girl--their daughter--they'll be adopting from China. Check out their blog spot for information about their adoption journey: http://heut-n-holler.blogspot.com/index.html

Ron (as in Beth and Ron) and Eric (what's this talk about a lap dance??) posing for the camera.

More fondue-ers. Bob, Nicole and Jodi (oh...and Eric in the background). Thanks, Jodi, for making this even so much fun!

I Love My Red Boots

Here's Hope again...going for a walk with Grammy. She's stylin' with her beautiful pink coat from Aunt Ali, her new denim Clifford dress from Grammy, her cool striped tights and her sparkly red boots both from Mommy. Oh..and that wonderful pink hat she's wearing was made for her by her Aunt Donna.

Snow, Snow Go Away

Here's Hope on March 13, 2007. She and Grammy were going for a walk. She's looking at the last of the snow.

The Brue Family

So here's the Mark Brue family: Melody, Hope and Mark. This was taken on December 10th when we joined our new church: Gethsemane Lutheran Church in Baldwin, WI. I'm (Melody) the Director of Youth and Education there. It's a great job and a wonderful community. Hope is like the congregation's daughter already.

The most beautiful baby in the world

Is she something or what?? Look at that crinkled up nose!! This picture was taken in November of 2006 which would have made Hope 15 1/2 months old. I'll find a more recent picture to post soon. She's truly beautiful: inside and out. Her spirit is something else even at this young age.

Can we start 2007 again?? Or where is God, anyway?

Monday, March 12, 2007...

Whoever said you shouldn't go to bed angry had some really good advice. There were a number of reasons why I was so upset before going to bed last night: I was exhausted to begin with and then it took me TWO HOURS to get Hope down for bed. Once I got her down, I got up to do something and bit Mark's head off about something. So I went to bed exhausted and upset, which is never a good combination. Well, that just means I woke up angry this morning and it's pretty much stayed with me throughout the day. Oh...and I'm still exhausted. Hope decided to wake up in the middle of the night again. She must be cutting teeth or having growing pains or something. So here I am at work, trying to get some things done and I can't concentrate. Today is a wash. Maybe going to the gym and working out will help lighten my mood.

Has anyone else's 2007 gotten off to a rocky start?? A job lay off for my husband, a few deaths both of family members and close friends, well, it's not been a good one so far for us. I'll confess that about a month ago (a month ago today as a matter of fact) we got some news that made me so angry that I pretty much shut down on God. I've been so faithful, so patient, so hopeful through all of the job stuff with my husband. It's been going on for 4 years now...employed, not employed. Employed, not employed. Totally not his fault though. The job he was at for 17 years merged with another company in 2003 and in that merger everyone in his department lost their jobs. UGH!!! So we've been on this rollercoaster since that time. And a month ago ws the final straw for me. The kicker is that I had to figure out how I could teach confirmation to this group of 6-8 graders and teach them that there's a loving God who provides for all their needs while I was not really believing that to be the case....at least not in my life. I felt like God had totally turned His back on us. Now I knew in my heart that wasn't the case, but it sure felt like it was. It took me a while before I would pray again. Even now I have to confess that my heart isn't totally into my prayers like they used to be. The really good thing in all of this is I know, in my heart of hearts, that God is still there. That he really does provide. So we will continue to be faithful and patient and ride the rollercoaster that is life. I just pray that much of this stress ends soon because there are moments I feel like I'm right on the edge...right at the very end of my rope. I fell like I'd like to run away. Just for a little while. Just to think, to relax, maybe to have a margarita (or maybe even two). I just need a little refreshing. Anyone else feel the same??

Here's the kicker though. Just when I was at the height of my "God doesn't exist" phase, one of my closest friends came over with a pile of books and CDs that she and her hubby got at a youth ministry conference they had just been to (isn't it nice they remembered me??). In the stack of stuff was this green envelope. Being that this particular friend (and her hubby) are pastors, and being that they knew Mark and I were going through a rough spot with this job crap, I thought it was just a "thinking of you" card and I was going to read it later. She pointed to the envelope though and said, "I need that back." So I opened it right away. When I saw what was inside I just started crying. It was an ultrasound picture of their unborn baby. She was, at the time, 9 weeks pregnant!! The reason that the timing on this is so perfect is because they have been trying for almost 10 years to have children. Two years ago the doctors told them that they wouldn't be able to have their own kids. This is such an incredible miracle...one that could only happen by the hand of, dare I even say it, God! So God, in his infinite wisdom, showed me once again that he does indeed exist. That he does indeed care. That his timing is indeed perfect. So I'm learning very slowly to let go and let him do his job....something he loves to do: take care of his children.

I'm done with my sermon now. Good thing I'm a member of an ELCA congregation now. In the Missouri Synod I never would have been able to preach. hehehe

Thanks for reading this. There will be more to come. There will be lots more talk about our daughter Hope who is the center of our universe. Oh...and pictures, too. She is, afterall, the cutest baby in the entire world.