It's time

Yep. It's time. I'm having mixed emotions right now. I suppose I should tell you what it's time for. It's time for Hope to take her next step towards independence. Tonight she's sleeping in her big girl bed (yes...in her OWN room) for the very first time. I worked on her room all weekend, cleaning it out (it had become a storage closet again since she never used it as a bedroom) and getting it ready for her. Single handedly I even converted her crib into a toddler bed. Good thing we didn't spend the money on the crib we got so it could just be a crib. That would have been a waste of money since I can count the number of times she actually slept in her crib on one hand. We were pretty smart (I think) when we bought her crib and bought one of those cribs that converts into a toddler bed and then into a full size bed. Anyway, it's now a "big girl bed" and she's sleeping in it. Well, she's not sleeping yet because I can hear Hope and Mark conversing. We're not the kind of parents that can let their daughter sleep with them (correction...she sleeps with me while Mark sleeps on the futon in the basement) for 2 1/2 years and then just put her in her own bed and shut her bedroom door. That probably works for some parents. It won't work for us. So Mark is sleeping on a nice air mattress next to her bed. I realize this stage might take a while, too, but it's a start. Right?

So...mixed emotions. I'm thrilled that I can sit in bed with the light on tonight and read and watch the local news at 10. That's something I haven't done in a really, really long time. Yet I know this means that our little girl is growing up. That makes me a little sad. But it's part of life and I realize, as a good friend pointed out to me this week, this will be good for her. It'll be a great step towards her being indepenedent. My Mom and Dad (especially my Dad I learned not too long ago) always taught me to be independent (maybe too much so...lots of people can attest to that) and that's what I want for Hope, too. To be able to rely on others at times, but also to be able to rely on herself. Too philisophical for tonight?? Perhaps. I mean, this step for Hope is something that most kids do as tiny little babies. But we brought her home from the hospital pretty much knowing we were going to do the "family bed" thing. But it's time.

Here are a couple of pictures that I just snapped to remember this big event in our home. I hope you enjoy them.

PS...My friend Kim will begin radiation treatment around the 14th of April. Please keep her in your prayers as she'll have to go 5 days a week for 6 weeks.

Sweet dreams...

Hope wanted to hold Daddy's hand.

Excited to be in her "big girl bed."

Behind the safety rail.

PSS...Right now the thought of "hey, maybe this isn't going to be as hard as I thought" has just given way to "oh man! This is going to be tough." Hope just started crying for Mommy. It's so hard to not go in and get her. People reassure me that in a few nights she'll be OK. I'm praying this is so. I'm not sure if this is harder than potty training or if it's the other way around. But right now I'm feeling like the worst parent in the world for not "rescuing" her when she needs me the most.