ESP...or...Good News All Around

So I've got it...well, sometimes. A couple of weeks ago I was getting ready to meet a friend for breakfast. As I was putting my shoes on I said to Mark, "I think A. is going to tell me she's pregnant." When I got to the restaurant she said, "I'm pregnant!" WooHoo!! So on Sunday we were hoping to see a friend who was in town for the weekend (she and her hubby...another wonderful friend of ours...live in Colorado now). I said to Mark, "I think A. (a different A. from the first A. mentioned in this post) is going to tell me she's pregnant." A. called me at work today and in our conversation she said, "Well, I wanted to tell you this in person, but since I can't, I'll tell you over the phone. I'm pregnant." YEAH!!! So I've got two more friends who are pregnant. I'm so blessed!! Let's take inventory of my pregnant friends and when they're due: Melanie: August, Kari: September, Dawn: September (I'm hoping she has Baby Spies on my 40th birthday...wouldn't that be nice??), Jodi: November (she's due the opening weekend of deer hunting season. That's a BIG thing in Wisconsin...hehehe), A 1: January, A 2: February. I think that's it for now. Now I'm just waiting to get the call from my friend Marsha that SHE'S pregnant. That will be so, so wonderful. I can be "Aunt Melody" again! And let's not forget those friends who have recently become parents: Troy and Lisa in April, Brandon and Natalie in May and Ron and Beth in June.

As for us, Hope really will be our only child. Sometimes my heart aches tremendously about our decision, but mostly I'm at peace with it. There are just so many reasons for us NOT to have another child that they far out weigh the reasons why we should have another one. I pray that someday Hope will be able to forgive us--me--for not giving her any siblings. If only Mark and I had met at an earlier age. If only things would have been different with Mark's job stuff. If only we weren't so blasted tired all the time...lol. But here's the amazing part of this story: we are SOOOOOOO blessed to have even one child. And the one child that God has blessed us with is as close to perfect as any human can be. So sweet. So loving. So smart. So funny. I know there are a lot of people who feel that we're doing wrong by Hope in not giving her any siblings. Trust me when I tell you that I've agonized over that decision for a long time (almost 2 years) now. I have 3 siblings and I love them to death. I don't know what I'd do without them. And yet that's just not God's will for Mark and me. Hope has awesome cousins who she'll be close to, I'm sure. She's also super outgoing and will make dear friends in her lifetime. She'll be OK...right?? I mean, I think we're good enough parents that she'll be pretty well-adjusted. Maybe slightlyspoiled, but well-adjusted.

I guess this has been on my mind and heart lately because Mark, who has been 1000% sure that he didn't want any more children, actually said a couple of weeks ago that we should maybe hold off on the garage sale that I've been planning to have this weekend. Talk about coming out of left field!! Yeh, my heart got kind of excited about the thought of having another baby. I loved being pregnant with Hope and I even loved labor and delivery (I know...I'm weird. Remember that I'm also one who loved confirmation classes when I was in Jr. High. SCARY!). The thought about experiencing that all over again was a bit exciting. And the thought of a "re-do" and actually having Dr. Hallman present at the birth of one of my children was pretty fun, too (for those of you who don't know, my ob/gyn missed Hope's birth by about 2 seconds. I delivered her on my own...with 10 people in the room watching...hehehe). But the thought of more years in diapers (the baby, not me) isn't really fun. The thought of giving up my bed for another 3+ years isn't really fun. The thought of being exhausted for the rest of my life isn't really fun. The thought of having to pay for child care isn't fun (we wouldn't expect Mark's Mom and Dad to babysit for another one of our children, but we sure do appreciate them being Hope's child care providers). The thought of, because of my age, possibly having a baby with disabilities scares us. The financial part of having another baby scares us. We're blessed. We have Hope. That's all we need.

So the garage sale will go on this weekend. So many beautiful clothes that have been given to Hope. It's been bitter-sweet going through her things. Loving the age that she's at right now, looking forward to watching her grow, and yet so missing the baby she was has been bitter sweet. That's the best description I have. I'll live vicariously through my pregnant friends. I'm hoping one of them will let me feel their tummy when the baby moves. I'll miss that for sure. Heck, I'd even offer to be a labor/delivery coach for them if they'd like:)

Thanks for listening to me ramble today. I can't believe this post has gotten so long winded. I was simply going to share the good news that two more of my friends are "with child." I'll be keeping a close eye on the Baby Registry at Target. hehehe

Be blessed as you have been blessed...
Melody