Happy 8th anniversary....

January 25th marked the 8th anniversry of my Dad going to heaven. That day has been a difficult day for me for 8 years now. No matter how many years go by, I always get "blue", anxious and even more difficult to live with around that date every year. And it just sneaks up on me. You wouldn't think, after this many years, that it would. It just shows that time can ease the pain, but the longing for someone you love never truly goes away. I was fortunate to have 67 years with my Dad, but in my opinion, that was not enough years. I wish he would have been here to meet Mark and to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I wish he were here at Christmas time so we could watch "A Christmas Story" together, over and over again, like we used to do. I wish I could get up on Sunday morning and hear him laughing as he was watching The Three Stooges. I wish he were here to know his Granddaughter, Hope. Man would he love that girl!!! Death is a tough thing to deal with. Suicide is even more difficult. Some of you know, others don't, that my Dad took his own life. I guess the "silver lining" in this case is that he had been so ill for so long (almost 20 years) that none of us can really blame him for making the decision he made. I know it must have been an agonizing decision for him because he loved life and he loved his family. I also have the feeling he talked about this many, many times with his Savior. Mom said that the last weeks, months before he died he would study his Bible in the morning and at night. I think he was looking for an answer. I truly believe that he came to peace with God about his decision. So for 8 years now Dad has been healthy and whole and for that I'm so thankful. Whenever I hear the song "I Can Only Imagine," I think of Dad and what his reaction was when he met Jesus 8 years ago. I always cry when I hear that song, too.

So, happy 8th anniversary in heaven, Dad. I love you. I miss you. I think of you every day. Please take good care of the baby that I lost before I had Hope. Give him/her a big hug from his/her Mommy and tell him/her that I love him/her very much.

PS...If there happens to be anyone out there that reads this and is thinking about committing suicide...PLEASE GET HELP!! It doesn't just involve you. It's not just your decision. It involves all those who love you. You might be ending your pain, but you're giving pain that will last a lifetime to those around you. There is help.

They grow so quickly...

Last weekend at a scrapbooking retreat, I was able to get a bit more done in Hope's "First Year of Life" scrapbook (I know...I'm WAY behind). I realized that there were some pictures that I wanted to put in the scrapbook, but I didn't have them with me. I looked briefly at home and they weren't where I thought they might be. Hhhmmmm. So I looked on the computer to make sure I still had those pictures and I do, so I'll just re-print (thank God for digital photography and computers). As I was looking at pictures, I came across this precious video of Mark giving Hope her first bath in the hospital. She was just one day old. I watched it (many times...as was Hope's request) with tears streaming down my cheeks. Where did my little baby girl go?? I hope you enjoy this video as much as I do.

Introducing Wyatt Matthew

Here's the picture I promised of me holding Wyatt. He is just SOOOOO cute!!! I can't wait to see him again. Did I mention that he was born in the very same room that Hope was born in?? How cool is that?? The really weird thing is that when I went to see Andrea, Bert and Wyatt at the hospital on Friday night, the nurse at the nurses' station said to me, "Isn't that the room you were in when you had your daughter?? Her name is Faith...or Hope, isn't it?" I had no idea who this woman was, but she remembered me from 2.5 years ago when I had Hope. That's pretty cool (and maybe a little scary). And don't mind my bad hair day. I am in desperate need of a haircut! Just focus on that cute little boy in my arms.

One more emotion

I know I said I was done until the next piece of Packer news comes up, but I have to share one more thing. This blog is my therapy. Now I'm just feeling numb. Still in shock that we lost. I'm sitting here listening to Packers post game via the internet right now (WTMJ out of Milwaukee). It's like a funeral durge. The guys (the players) are numb. They have no idea what to do now because they fully anticipated they'd have two more weeks left of the season. So did I. So tomorrow I'll wear black and then life will go on.

Saddened, angry and sick to my stomach!

I can't believe we lost. I mean, I know that on any given Sunday any team in the NFL can lose, but I truly didn't expect it to be the Green Bay Packers today in a cold Lambeau Field against the New York Giants. Oh my gosh!!! My initial reaction: tears. I know. It sounds stupid. I just love my Packers so much and feel so sad for them. My next reaction: anger. They actually deserved to lose today. They looked like crap. The Giants aren't that good of a team. If my memory serves me right, they were a WILD CARD TEAM!!! I'm angry that the Packers got so many penalties for doing stupid things. I'm angry that they didn't take advantage of quite a few big plays and situations. My reaction right now: I'm sick to my stomach. Literally. I feel like I could lose my cookies right now. You can't get this close to the Superbowl and blow it like the Packers did today. UGH!!!!! Now my post football season funk will begin. I go through this every year when the Packers are done. This year it just hurts a lot more. To be so close to the big game and not make it just stings. We will be a divided house for the Superbowl. Mark is hoping the Patriots win (payback to the Giants for beating the Packers today). I'm hoping the Giants win because I dislike the Patriots as much as I dislike the Vikings and the Cowboys. I think it would be funnier than heck if their perfect season was blemished at the Superbowl by a wild card team with ELI MANNING as the quarterback (he stinks). Don't get me wrong, I think Eli is probably a really nice kid and I like his brother a lot, but he's no Brett Favre for sure. Heck, Tom "Pretty Boy" Brady is no Brett Favre either.

There are a couple of plusses about the Packers losing today. 1) The time I spent watching football can now be replaced by cleaning my house and continuing to work on Hope's scrapbook. 2) I think this makes it more likely that Brett will be back next year.

Enough about football. I had a great weekend at a scrapbooking retreat this weekend. I stayed up WAY too late both Friday and Saturday nights and then got up WAY too early in the morning. As a result, I'm exhausted. I got some good things done in Hope's book though, so it was worth the lack of sleep. Plus, I got to meet some really cool women and also spend some great time with my friend Lisa K.

Another really exciting thing happened on Thursday. My friends Andrea and Bert had their baby. Wyatt Matthew Stone was born at 7:53pm on January 17. He weighed 6 lbs, 9 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He is absolutely beautiful!! I got to see him on Friday night and Bert took a great picture of Wyatt and me. I'll post it if I get permission from Andrea.

OK...time to go pout. For those of you who see me during the week, just bear with me and let me work my way through this. It's like I'm in mourning. Again, I realize it's silly because it's just a game, but it's my team. So until the next time there's some exciting Packers news to report...See ya!!

Totally Cool

I just had to put this picture up. I'm so thankful that Mark subscribes to SI!!!

Football Fans

This is a great joke sent to me by a friend. Enjoy!!

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Bears' Fan, a Packers' Fan, a Vikings' Fan, and a Lions' Fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most'die-hard' fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Bears' Fan proclaimed to the other three......'This is for the Chicago Bears!' and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Bears Fan, the Lions' Fan jumped up and said....'This is for the Detroit Lions!' and then threw himself off the mountain. Again as a form of sacrifice. Refusing to be outdone by the Bear and Lions' fans, the Packers' Fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, 'This is for the Green Bay Packers!' and without any hesitation, pushed the Viking Fan off the Mountain.

I love that one!!!