Why, God? Why??

I just got off the phone with Mark. This is an absolutely horrible day. I realize that every day is a blessing from God. After today's news, I truly believe that. BUT...today is a day filled with lots and lots of heartache.

Mark called me with the news that our very good friends Scott and Jan Donkersgoed have lost their youngest son Ryan in a car accident. Ryan is dead. NO!!! Ryan and his wife, Jennifer, moved to Georgia not even a year ago with their son Joshua. Joshua will be 2 in December. Want more bad news?? Jennifer and Ryan are expecting another child. I think the baby is due in August. So now what?? How does this family recover from a blow like this?? Scott and Jan have to be feeling so, so helpless right now being so far away from their daughter-in-law. Why does stuff like this happen, God?? Why them?? Why now?? I would tell people going through something like this the rote answer of "God has a plan. We don't know what it is, but He has a plan." Do I believe it now that it's happening to us?? Yes. Although I have to confess it's hard to grasp on to that right now, it's still true. I have complete faith that God truly will work something good out of this whole tragedy. Again, right now I don't think it's my heart that's believing that. It's truly my head reciting the things I've learned in confirmation, church, etc. But someday my heart will catch up and I truly will believe it with my heart. My head belief will have to be enough right now, Lord.

So a couple of minutes after I finished that conversation with Mark the phone rang again. It was Mark. This time he was SOBBING. I thought he was just checking up on me to see how I was doing with the news. But no. He said the news gets worse. I thought it was more news about Ryan and the car accident. This was another piece of heartbreaking news. Mark's long time friend from Lutheran Brotherhood, Scott Basche (I think I'm spelling his last name correctly), died at 8pm last night. We knew it was just a matter of time for Scott as he had cancer and the cancer had gone into his brain. We actually went to visit Scott at the hospice center in Madison less than a month ago. I'm so glad that we made that visit. Mark is just really distraught about Scott's death. Scott was only 47 and leaves behind a wife and two children (a 14 year old and a 10 year old). His family was at his side when he died, which is comforting. Scott told Mark when we visited a few weeks ago that the doctors told him he only had about 3 months to live. It was more like 3 weeks. We are going to miss Scott so much. He was wonderful with Hope when we visited.

So today has been a day filled with bad news for us. I hope the saying "bad news always comes in threes" does NOT hold true for today. I'm not sure how much more bad news we can take.

We'll be heading to Scott and Jan's house later this afternoon to be with them. To cry with them. To hold them. To help them with anything they need help with. I'm numb. I'm crying. I feel like screaming. I don't know what to do. Please say some prayers today for our friends. They need them...and, frankly, so do we.

I'll leave you with these thoughts: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28

Also from the book of Romans: "Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite ALL THESE THINGS, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." Romans 8:35-37