How much more???

I've been asking that question a lot lately about many things. I've had some things happen in my life lately that make me wonder how much God truly thinks I can take before I break. He must think I'm pretty strong. I know a lot of this is just "life," but right now life is pretty tough. I'm waiting for a short period of time when life gets easier.

Let's start with some good news first. Mark is home! His three month stint at the Thrivent home office in Appleton is over. He's now working from home...literally. His office is in the loft, which isn't the best, but it's all we've got. Yesterday we had our first taste of what it will be like with him working from home and Hope and I being home. It's going to be HARD! It's going to be very difficult keeping Hope quiet for large chunks of time while Mark is on the phone. All we can do is do our best. If nothing else, yesterday has motivated us to start cleaning up and out our house so we can get it on the market and get it sold so we can move into a larger home. A larger home will allow Mark to have an office with walls and a door. WOW!!! What a concept. And maybe a larger home will allow me to have a craft/scrapbooking place where I can keep my stuff set out. Then I can REALLY start on my scrapbooking business.

Now for all the bad news: On Friday I went to a funeral for a wonderful man from the church I used to work at. I was so sad to find out he had died. "80" (his name was Adolph, but everyone called him "80") was 81 when he died. He had gone outside in the snow the Monday before Easter and slipped and fell. He hit his head on the pavement and suffered blunt force trauma. He was in a coma all week and died on Good Friday (March 21). "80" was one of the most quiet, kind, loving men of God that I have ever met. Anything that needed to be done, he'd do. He was truly a servant of God and I'm going to miss him tremendously. I can still picture him sitting at one of the desks in the office at Ezekiel, folding bulletins. I'd walk by him, say hello and ask him how he was. His answer was always the same: old and senile. hehehe He was NEITHER of those things. He'd visit our shut ins and give them communion. He'd help Pastor John with worship services at nursing homes. I never knew about his military service though. He was a pilot in the Air Force and flew lots of lots of missions. He was an incredible man and he will be missed by MANY!!

More bad news: my dear from Kim (also a friend from Ezekiel) would have celebrated her 5 year cancer-free anniversary this month. She found out on Friday, March 29th (her daughter's 16th birthday and the ACS's Relay for Life in River Falls) that her cancer is back. It's in her larynx. Because of where it is, it's inoperable. I just read her update at her Caring Bridge site and the news is not good at all. She had a PET scan yesterday. In addition to the spot on the larynx, they found 5 spots on her bones. There is also lymph node involvement and she has a blood clot in the back of her head. She'll be going to the doctor tomorrow for radiation mapping and then it sounds like they'll be heading down to Mayo for a second opinion. THIS SUCKS!!! Kim is so kind. So positive. So incredible. She's such an inspiration. And now she's having to face this. Her husband John is a wonderful man as well. They just have the one child. Kaitlin is taking her driving test today, so they haven't given her the news about the cancer being in Kim's bones yet. They didn't want her thinking about that today. So I think about all the truly evil people in the world and I wonder why God has chosen Kim for this. I know there's a purpose. I know there's a reason. But right now, I'm pretty dang angry about this. I know I can't see the full picture, but I'm wondering if God really knows what he's doing in this case. Kim is only 45 years old. She has a daughter who needs her. Of course when I think about Kaitlin being an only child and how hard this is going to be for her...especially with no siblings to go through it with...it make me think of Hope. (And of course now I'm crying.) If something happened to me, my little girl would be lost. Yes, she has a Daddy who loves her and takes good care of her. She has grandparents who would help Mark. She has others in her life who would do what they could. But she needs her Mommy. And I'm thinking now that it would be so important for her to have a sibling to go through tough times with. But I know that we probably won't be giving that to her. Is that fair?? I don't know.

Another friend (Rachael) is struggling with cancer as well. Her case doesn't look good either. Her doctor in Stillwater, MN, where she was doctoring basically told her that there was nothing more she could do for her. She suggested that Rachael and Isaac either get a second opinion or call hospice. I'm not sure how old Rachael is, but she's younger than me for sure. We met Isaac and Rachael last June when they stopped at our house for our garage sale. She was pregnant and they bought some of Hope's cute little baby clothes. We got to talking about babies and she shared with me that she had lost a baby at 16 weeks pregnant. I shared with her about the miscarriage I had before I had gotten pregnant with Hope. We bonded. Mark and Isaac bonded. We gave them our email address and told them to let us know when the baby was born and they did. Makayla was born in October. The day before she was born, Rachael noticed a lump (I believe it was under her arm). Of course she then gave birth and got busy being a new Mom, so a couple of months had passed before she went to get it checked out. By that time had spread throughout her body. So, Rachael and Isaac are choosing, like Kim, to fight this horrible disease with all that they have. Rachael and Isaac are down at Mayo right now, fighting the fight of their lives.

And to top everything off (and after these three pieces of sad news, this is really petty), we got at least 6 more inches of snow yesterday. UGH!!!!

ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Enough of all the bad news. Enough of all the sadness. Enough of all the snow. I want good news! I want Spring!! I want happiness!

Sorry this has been such a bummer of a post, but this is what's in my heart right now. Please, please keep "80"'s family, Rachael and Isaac and Kim and Kim's family in your prayers. I'll keep you posted.

Maybe something that you might find inspirational:
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

I have to keep that constantly before me these days.

Happy Easter

I know this is late, but it's been a busy week. It's gone by pretty quickly though, much to my surprise. We had a great Easter weekend even though I was exhausted by the time I got home from church on Easter Sunday. I managed to not be able to fall asleep until 1:30am...and then I was up at 3 and heading to church by 4:30. The kids did a great job serving Easter breakfast (yummy French Toast bake, ham and fruit), but we didn't make much $$$. AND we had 10 pans of French toast bake left over. Sheesh!! I think next year we're doing something simple like muffins and fruit.

Anyway...I was able to come home that day and take a nap with Hope. When we woke up we searched for the Easter baskets (yes...basketS) that the Easter Bunny brought for Hope. Then we got Hope back into her Easter dress and headed to Mark's sister's house for an Easter egg hunt for Hope. She had such a great time (of course it's always fun being the center of attention, isn't it??).

So here are some pictures of our weekend. It started out on Saturday with Hope and I dying Easter eggs for the first time. We had a blast!! Enjoy...

Oh, and PS...the 5 inches of snow they were predicting we were supposed to get tomorrow has been changed to 0 inches. PRAISE GOD!!! I'm so flippin' sick of winter I could scream. Maybe Spring is finally here!

Dying Easter eggs for the very first time.

I'm SOOOOOOOOO excited!!

Pretty in pink.

Easter fun at Auntie Cheryl's house.

Grass fight with Daddy!!!

Holy Week and a cold...

So it's Holy Week. The Holiest week in the Christian calendar. This is the week that we reflect and celebrate all that Jesus did for us. It's pretty amazing to think that as others were celebrating his entrance into Jerusalem, He was contemplating the things to come. He knew what the week ahead held for Him. He knew it would include a very special meal with His twelve disciples. He knew it would include the betrayal by a close friend. He knew it would include his death on the cross. And ultimately He knew it would include His victory over death. That means victory for you and me, too. Is that good news for today and always or what??

So our Holy Week started with a family emergency last night. We got a call from Mark's sister last night. She was enroute to a hospital in the Cities via ambulance with her 14 year old son, Andy. Seems that Andy found some fireworks somewhere and he and a friend were in his backyard playing with them. Well, it resulted in Andy having 1st and 2nd degree burns on his face, some major scratches on his cornea, some gunpowder in his eye, no eyelashes left and hair burned off his head. The good news is that God has healed him. Yes, he's still in pain and his face is burned, but the burns should heal with no scarring. The other good news is that Andy went back to the doctor today and they couldn't believe how quickly his eyes have healed!!! The pressure is back to normal and there doesn't appear to be any more gunpowder left in either eye. It truly is a miracle. THANK YOU, GOD!!! He has to spend his Spring Break week in doors and it won't be much fun, but at least he's going to heal up just perfectly. So those of you who play with fireworks...DON'T!!!

The week has also started with me having a pretty major cold. It started on Saturday. I managed to sing in church yesterday which I was thankful for. Today I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck though. Coughing, constantly blowing my nose (buy stock in Kleenex, I'm telling you!!), lots of cold medication, tired, achey and CRANKY!!! Hope's got a bit of a cold, but not bad at all. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets for her. She was also thoughtful enough to share her cold with Grammy and Papa.

Now for a piece of good new (two pieces, actually...make that three). On Friday my college friends Amy and Marty had their 4th child!!! Another boy (that makes three boys, one girl). They named him Matthew Isaac. They live in a Chicago suburb, so it'll be a while before I get to see him. Baby is healthy and everyone else is doing fine, too. I can't imagine being almost 40 with 4 kids (that's what Amy is). I was excited and tired for her all at the same time when I heard she was pregnant. I think she was, too:)

Other good news: Hope (the daughter of our friends Ron and Beth) said my name this week for the first time!!! I was SOOOOOOO excited about that!!! I was running (yes, running...I know...hard to imagine) down the hall at church on Wednesday night and I ran past her. She said, "Melody's running." hehehe Isn't that cute?? Then she said my name again on Sunday at church and was actually excited to see me. That made my day! Then last Wednesday another little girl from church (Olivia...she's so cute!) was standing in my office. I figured she wanted candy (that's why the little kids come into my office). I asked her if she wanted anything. She said, "No. I just came to see you." It made my day. Then she left my office and came back a little while later. She looked at me and said, "Melody...can I give you a hug??" Oh man!! That totally was a mood lifter for me. So now I remember why I do what I do. Because I love kids so much!

OK...time to get Hope and myself into bed. Hopefully we'll sleep through the night. Happy Holy Week.

Vaya Con Dios, Brett!

One more post today about Brett. After a long day, I've had a chance to really think about all of this. I'm still sad. In a way I feel like someone just died. Yet I know that Brett really is just starting to live. Yeh, the NFL and the Packer organization were really good to and for Brett for a long time (and he was equally good to and for us), but this will start a whole new chapter in his life. He's going to be able to spend time with his wife and daughters. He's healthy and can do fun things with them yet. He'll continue to do great things through his Brett Favre Fourward Foundation. So ultimately I'm really happy for him. But man am I going to miss him!!! Coach McCarthy said today that we won't see Brett coming out from behind the fence (around his house) much at all. I guess that's what makes me really sad. Yet, who can blame him??

I don't think that there's much truth to what Brett's agent said about Brett feeling like the Packers didn't really want him. I haven' t heard that in any other report today. So I'm going to, at least for right now, choose to believe that the mental stress of preparing day in and day out for his role on the Green Bay Packer team was just too much. And who can blame him for that???

So Brett...vaya con dios (go with God). I'll miss you. Wisconsin will miss you. Sports fans everywhere will miss you! (OK...so I know Brett won't be reading this, but it helps me get through a sad time.)

Oh...one good note (I don't think I posted this today...I can't remember for sure): my nephew Andrew called me from Germany today. It was so great to hear from him. He's doing great over there although he hasn't seen the sun come out for a couple of weeks now and that's getting a little depressing. Plus, he's s bit bored as he hasn't really started training yet.

Time to get Hope and I ready for bed. Good night everyone. Thanks for reading my blubbering thoughts.

If this article is true, I'm angry!

Mark sent me the following article this morning in regards to Brett's shocking announcement to retire. If there is any shred of truth to this, I want Ted Thompson's head on a platter. Now those of you who know me know that I'm a pretty laid back, non-violent person. I give people a lot of leeway for being human. Heck, that's because I need a lot of leeway for being human. But Brett Favre deserves so much respect from the Packers for what he's done for the organization that if Ted Thompson made Brett feel like he wasn't really wanted in Green Bay for another season, then SHAME ON HIM!!! Anyway, here's the article...

Favre tells Packers he's retiring
Agent says Favre wanted to play another year but felt Packers didn't want him
By TOM SILVERSTEINtsilverstein@journalsentinel.com
Posted: March 4, 2008
Quarterback Brett Favre told Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy Monday night that he was going to retire.
But his agent, James (Bus) Cook, told me a few minutes ago that he believes Favre wants to play another year and didn't get the sense that the Packers wanted him back all that badly.
"It's my opinion," Cook said of the Packers' lack of interest. "I know he wants to play one more year. I do not know much conversation there was (between Favre and the Packers) and I don't think anyone forced him to make that decision. But I don't know that anyone tried to talk him out of it."
Cook said that Favre feels physically and mentally capable of playing at least one more year.
"I think he wanted to play," Cook said. " I think he's still got it. He knows he's still got it. I think he felt he could play one more year. I don't know if they told him they really wanted him to play. That's just the feeling I got."
Cook was asked whether he thought Favre could be talked into returning: "I don't know," he said.
McCarthy said recently that he and general manager Ted Thompson sat down during the bye week of the playoffs and evaluated tape of Favre to determine whether he could still play. McCarthy said that they came to the conclusion that he was still able to play the game at a high level.
During the off-season, there were reports that Thompson had not done much to encourage Favre to return and that Favre's feeling was that the Packers weren't fired up about bringing him back. After reports surfaced of Favre's uneasiness about Thompson's lack of communication, Thompson told reporters at the combine that he called Favre to talk about the future.

Reading that article just makes me sick to my stomach!! Ted Thompson better be on his hands and knees all the way to Hattiesburg right now to BEG Brett to come back.

And just an FYI: when I got to work this morning I had a note that one of my confirmation small group leaders (who also happens to be a friend) called. The note said she'd call back. I figured she had a question about the confirmation students serving the lenten meal tomorrow night. Nope. She just called to see how I was doing today in light of the news. Aaawwww...people are so sweet!!!

Tears. Lots and lots of tears...

I'm wearing black today. And I shouldn't have put on any mascara. I know most of you won't get this, but my heart hurts today. Brett just announced that he's retiring. I had this pit in my stomach this morning because I wondered if today would be the day we'd find out. I realized that the longer he took to make his decision the more likely he'd walk away.

Don't get me wrong. I'm so happy for Brett and for his family. They deserve the time with each other after everythign they've been through. But I'm sad for Green Bay. I'm sad for the Packers organization. I'm sad for Packer fans. I'm sad that I'll never get to see Brett throw another great pass. I'm sad that I'll never be able to see him smile that boyish smile after he pulled out another miraculous win. I'm sad that Hope will never get to see Brett play. And mostly I'm sad because Brett is such a great human being and I know we will hear very little from him from now on. I'll miss him.

I know there are a lot of Packer fans who don't really appreciate Aaron Rodgers (the guy who has been patiently awaiting this day as he's Brett's back up), but I really do like Aaron and I hope the Packers management give him a chance. He did an incredible job in the Dallas game last season when Brett had to leave the game due to injury. That was a high pressure game and Rodgers showed he could do it. We just need to toughen him up a bit so he doesn't get injured so easily, but that'll come.

I don't like today. I'm in mourning mode. Here's a tribute to Brett I found this morning.
http://www.620wtmj.com/news/local/16021987.html

WAIT!! I DO have one important thing to say...

Good luck to my beloved Adams-Friendship Green Devils as the boys basketball team heads to the State Tournament in Madison this weekend. In the words of Mr. Beversdorf, our assistant principal at the time: "WE ARE, A-F (clap, clap) WE ARE, A-F (clap, clap). And when he'd do that during pep assemblies in high school I SO thought his head was going to explode. That would NOT have been pretty as I was student body president and the one leading the assemblies. I would have seen it up close and I'm sure I would have had to have cleaned up the mess!!! Anyway, GO GREEN GO!!